My friend Thom passed away on Sunday from pancreatic cancer. He was diagnosed in June with the cancer when he went in for what he thought was a minor pain in his side and back. He thought he had just pulled a muscle. His life was turned upside-down in an instant. At 47 years old,he had a successful business in town called Bella Boutique (which I had the pleasure of working in for 3 years), a new love in his life and the financial security he had worked so hard for, all gone in an instant. It’s crazy isn’t it, one day your trying to manage your life, make money, have a relationship, be important, all just so we can feel good. Feeling good is the point isn’t it? I know I just want to feel good for gods sake, life is hard and I just want to feel good. I’ve tried for years to fit in, get approval, make more money, be loved, fill in the empty space that takes over me. Always rushing from one task to the next, filling my day with stuff that I’m not sure even matters. I was filled with anxiety and worry almost all the time.
I realize now that none of it matters, anything that is outside of myself, anything external, anything that I have hope in that isn’t coming from within can and will be taken away from me. I realize whats really important is my spiritual growth, character building, having a change of consciousness. I need that, I need to have increased awareness of whats real and knowledge of the truth. The saying “the truth will set you free” has become true for me. I’m truly grateful to have the time in my life for whats real, to increase my conscious contact with god, to experience presence, to experience feeling happy, joyous and free for a minute. This is what I want to increase in my life, this is how I want to live. To allow each experience in my life to just unfold naturally, to really allow the action to just take place without me trying to control it. This is true freedom, freedom from my resistance to everything.
I’m grateful to Thom for being a mentor in my life years ago, for showing me what its like to give to others with a smile on your face. To provide a service for people that fulfills me on a deep level. I have learned that stress kills, and if we don’t do something to handle our stress on a daily basis, our bodies shut down. What is happening in our minds will eventually manifest in our bodies. That I know for sure.
I’m sad to see my friend go, bye Thom:( Thank you for what you did for me and for what you taught me, I know your in a good place, you will always be in my heart. I want to dedicate the next few blog posts to him by talking about cancer prevention and living our lives the best we can through healing and wellness.